Virginity paradox in Tunisian society

Sexual violence exists everywhere in the world,mostly,in the Arab Muslim countries.

Women are presented as second degree person and sexual objects. However, Tunisia was one of the pioneer countries who defend women and protect their rights through constitutional laws law number 581 [July 26, 2017].We all know that law is just a start,change will need more time and action. From 4200 women randomly selected for a study research,3873 women aged between 18-67 years suffered from all form of violence by an intimate partner/ father-husband-fiance-brother-boyfriend. [NATIONAL INQUIRY ON

VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN IN TUNISIA].

@fem_studio

''Women are the only oppressed group in our society that lives in intimate association with their oppressors''. ~Evelyn Cunningham. Women's body along with sexuality have always been controlled by men's needs and morals for what is right and wrong.Especially when it comes to her sexual activities. Number of expectations are putting on women,her virtue and worth is only measured when she is a virgin.And it is tested in marriage.

For several decades women always find a way to be in control of their body and stop virginity shaming. Tunisian society is a place of paradox.In which you find both gender sexually active and liberated until a certain phase in their life.Women finds a survival solution to please Tunisian men and culture.In the other hand they guarantee the surviving of their sexual life.Hymen reconstruction is something very famous in medical surgery sector but still a taboo to talk about. At least 2 women do hymenoplastie a week,on average according to BBC Article Sihem Hassaini BBC Afrique, Tunis. Based on ‘’Tunisian Association of Democratic Women [ATFD] recently released the results of a study that 1,050 women and girls are raped each year in Tunisia, or around 2.8 a day, according to al-Araby al-Jadeed Arabic service.’.

Raping is not the only crime that is committed against women.Several victims are obliged both directly and indirectly to reconstruct their hymen to fit in the society .Even rapping is not something we talk about, the family's victim and even the victim herself hide her incidence.Most of the time, her family will blame her and force her not to talk about or declare it to the police.As it will bring shame to the family.At this context, the women is oppressed many times.One by rapping and the second by shaming her for being a sexual victim.Third,by not declaring the crime and pursue the rapper. Fourth,by being forced to be virgin again through surgery.

Many feminists are considering hymen reconstruction for both rape victims or sexually active women as a pragmatic solution for their surviving in such environment. In the female intimate circle, we find women supporting other women to do hymenoplasty surgery.Creating a code that enforce the idea of women's body is not her own matter.Where a women must be virtue and pure,only deflowered by her future husband.

The question is does really hymen reconstruction empower women or feeds patriarchy values ? The fact of having a choice is empowering.But some choices can only complicate things on long term.It is unhealthy and hypocrite to live with two sides.It is more complex for sexual victims who will carry a heavy lift.Being sexually violated caries multiple psychological and social problems. Such as trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder, low self esteem,suicidal ideas,anxiety,depression and so on.’’formal Australian center for the study of sexual assault’’. Rape is not just physical violence it gather all forms of violence that will leave unforgettable scars.This controversial circle of hymen reconstruction as a solution do protect victim women from social pressure and shaming.It is way of adapting and fitting as there is no possibility to be what we are in such dysfunctional community. This invalid an ethically questionable measurement of hymen reconstruction gain a great success and profit.It is actually a business that attract most Arab patients to do Hymenoplasty in clinics on Tunisia. This business that feed on women fragility,is expensive.Attracting rich individual and it is an act of luxury.In Which, the clinic provide ‘’week of recovery or vacation in a 5 stars hotel’’[cosmita travel website].Hymen Reconstruction cost from 890 euro to 1300 euro[cosmita travel website].This last is not operated in public hospitals and medical treatment places.it is an act of luxury done by the wealthy people to make it nearly impossible for the needy women.Another industry starting from fashion,medicine diet,makeup and skin care products,home and decoration, that target women by marketing what they suppose to have and be.

‘’One is not born ,but rather becomes, a woman’’ Simone de beauvoir

Women identify themselves by the rooted image in their society.Her body image and what she is supposed to do/be as a woman is not her own attitude.But rather a projection of the society expectations. Patriarchal constitutions manipulate the female existence since her birth to her death. In a community where both gender equally and freely can live their sexual adventures,patriarchy values is slightly founded and on it is way to an end.Where rape is not shutted down and rapper go to jail.Where women have a real choice.the fact of even thinking about hymen reconstruction is an act that humiliate women in several terms.First, her body is not her own;our body is what demonstrate our presence in this world.it is what we first identify by and exist through it.Not owning our tool of existence eradicate us ,women,from every single form of being.Second,Women need to stand up to stop this circle. In every change making there is always struggle.It won't be easy to say No to this vicious circle but it is must.and can only be ended by women and not men.“I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves.”Mery Sheller.Having the power to choose is liberating.when we think about hymen reconstruction as another way that strengthen patriarchy and rooted the principle of objectifying women body.Neither virginity or sexual life is a way to measure a women value. A sexually violated women is a victim and a survivor,it is unquestionably the rapper’s crime. She is not the one who needs to be fixed to fit in.It is violence against women that must be fixed and dealt with in more sustainable ways.

To sum up, virginity paradox is still a controversial issue in the Arab Muslim countries. Another issue that patronizes women. The moment we deal with sexuality in equal way for men and women, sexual violence will be reduced.

By Sulayma Werghemi

Picture source @fem_studio